Mrs. Brightside

I've been feeling tired, sluggish, overwhelmed, worried, etc. the past few days. You know that feeling when your body just seems too heavy to lift early in the morning and you'd rather stay in bed all day. I've been getting some extra minutes of sleep in the morning to make up for it.  It's a vicious cycle. I feel too sleepy at night so I go to bed early. Problem is, I end up waking up at dawn. I check my phone for about an hour then I go back to sleep. Then I feel sleepy again when I wake up in the morning.  This morning was no different. The little boy woke up at around 8. I felt too lazy to get up so I set an alarm for 10 minutes to get a bit of an extension. And as short as that extension may be, that was when Tatay finally visited me in my dreams. A first since he left us in November. A first even after numerous prayers at night for him to come into my dreams to reassure me that he's okay.  We were in Solenad. True Value to be exact. There was a political rally...

I have been putting off writing this one. But I don't trust my memory. And this is part of my life that I choose to remember, no matter how painful it is.  Mama We lost Mama, my mother-in-law, on February 17, 2020. About a week before that, we were able to visit and spend a few hours with her. She happily watched the little boy's new antics.  On Friday, February 14, Papa's death anniversary, Mama went to the cemetery to visit him. She was still okay then. However, come night time, she suffered a stroke. The helper found her unconscious in her room. They rushed her to the hospital. Unfortunately, no ICU was available in the nearby facility. They had to move her to another hospital. While she was still not accommodated in the ICU, this hospital was bigger and had better facilities.  On Saturday, we dropped by to say hi to our still unconscious Mama in the emergency room. We spent Sunday with her as well.  Dawn of Monday, February 17, my husband got the dreaded message ...

Bolero (February 20, 2021) I’m feeling a little under the weather and he’s being extra sweet.  Mommy, I love you. You are the best girl. You’re the number 1 person I like. :) On Compromise (May 22, 2016) R: Watch A, B, C. D (who downloaded Lion King movies because little boy seemed to like the Lion Guard show on Disney): You don't want to watch Lion? R: Lion with A, B, C. D: You don't want to watch Lion King? I downloaded all 3 movies - Lion King 1, 2, and 3. R: Lion King with A, B, C, okay? === Mr. President (May 23, 2016) R was running around the house. We asked him to stop. He refused because he was... R: running the President. Election news overload. :D === Cannot eat Kalamansi R wanted to eat the kalamansi that came with the pancit we ordered. I did not let him do it so he cried. A few nights later, before he slept, he told me. R: No eating kalamansi. Asim. Put only pansit, water, kalamansi juice. :) === The Real Orange M: Do you want oran...

I just want to thank God for helping me survive the past week. I thrive on routine. If something makes me deviate from my routine, I'm shaken. I'm slowly learning how to live an unpredictable life since I am raising a toddler. But there are still basics I need to live by to keep me sane. The little boy goes out in the morning while I eat my breakfast and take a bath. He goes out again in the afternoon to give me some merienda and me time. He naps once a day to give everyone at home a break. His yaya is the main substitute caregiver. His father pops in once in a while to help. The past week was tough because both my husband and the yaya got sick. The little boy could not go out of the house so we were stuck with each other. I could only get about an hour long break throughout the day for my bath. I could not eat proper meals. And I had to worry about everyone's health. The only thing that I was praying for was for me and the little boy not to get sick. I was exhausted ...