Skip to main content

Tiring Post

It's funny how some people can consume so much of you. You start the day right, all bright and sunshiny. And then something happens which turns everything into disarray. You start out angry and raring to take revenge and fight back. Then you begin to doubt yourself. Until finally, you get tired. You lose all of your energy. You just want to go home. Stay in bed and in the comforting arms of your husband. With no care in the world.

It's tiring to go through this often. It stresses you out then it leaves you worn out. And in all likelihood, it did not affect the "evil" party one bit. So you lose. And soon, you'll find yourself literally and figuratively sick and tired of the whole thing.

I'm often faulted for yearning for perfection. I would admit that yes, to a certain extent, I long for perfection. I want things to go as planned. And sometimes, it breaks me when they don't. But don't worry. I don't dwell on things so I'm not susceptible to clinical depression or something like that.

My husband must be tired of listening to me rant about the same things over and over again. I try so hard to keep him out of this. But I'm only human. There are times when I fail and I can't keep things to myself. I hope he won't get tired of hearing me out.

Generally, I'm a nice person. But sometimes some people push me to the edge. I would just like to think of my present job as a good training ground to toughen me up. I used to think of myself as a push over. At least now, I've grown some spine, fangs, etc.

I'm just grateful to have a supportive family and husband.

Let me share with you one nice song, As Told by Ginger's theme sang by Macy Gray...

Someone once told me the grass is much greener
On the other side

And I paid a visit
well, it's possible I missed it
It seemed different, yet exactly the same (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Til further notice (til further notice)
I'm in-between (i'm in between)
From where I'm standing (from where in standing)
My grass is green

Someone once told me the grass is much greener
On the other side

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dream

I've been feeling tired, sluggish, overwhelmed, worried, etc. the past few days. You know that feeling when your body just seems too heavy to lift early in the morning and you'd rather stay in bed all day. I've been getting some extra minutes of sleep in the morning to make up for it.  It's a vicious cycle. I feel too sleepy at night so I go to bed early. Problem is, I end up waking up at dawn. I check my phone for about an hour then I go back to sleep. Then I feel sleepy again when I wake up in the morning.  This morning was no different. The little boy woke up at around 8. I felt too lazy to get up so I set an alarm for 10 minutes to get a bit of an extension. And as short as that extension may be, that was when Tatay finally visited me in my dreams. A first since he left us in November. A first even after numerous prayers at night for him to come into my dreams to reassure me that he's okay.  We were in Solenad. True Value to be exact. There was a political rally...

Happy Valentine's Day!

The hubby is not big on occasions like Valentine's Day. We normally eat out but we do not have those mushy flowers or celebrations. I have learned not to expect. This year, we're living on a tight budget because I'm giving birth in June. We need to save up so we can give the best to our baby. I usually get him a Valentine's Day card plus a gift if I have money to spare. But this year, I chose to skip the card. (Could have gotten one actually had I remembered, hihi.) I just cooked him his favorite breakfast of bacon, bacon oil fried rice, and sunny side up egg. Then I used cloth table napkins to wrap the utensils. I placed a post-it note greeting him Happy Valentine's Day, which could have found its way to the trash bin by now (I hope not!). Nothing fancy really but it's always the thought that counts. Then I opened Facebook and was bombarded by photos of friends receiving flowers from their husbands or boyfriends. These made me smile - with absolutely no bit...

Homeschool Week 1: You Learn Something New Everyday

We officially started homeschooling this week. It's been okay, so far. Preparation takes a lot of time, especially for an OC person like me. I have a comfortable 3-week buffer so I guess that should make me calm down. But I admit that I am a bit anxious if I can sufficiently explain more complex topics to R. We'll see, we'll see. The sort of broken road that led us to homeschooling deserves its own blog post. But the trainings and actual homeschooling itself have reaffirmed that we made the right decision. Yes, I sometimes feel inadequate. And some nega people around saying elongated Okayyyyyy and Good luuuuuuuucckkkk whenever we tell them R will be homeschooled are not helping at all. But I just keep on telling myself that hey, I can always learn alongside R. I don't need to know everything. If there's something I don't know, we can always research together. I just need to pray for patience and wisdom. And so far, I have really been learning a lot with him an...