I may seem confident and strong on the outside but I'm actually very vulnerable and fragile. I may not show it but I yearn for affirmation from time to time. That's the reason why I easily get affected when I get criticisms or put-downs. And it hurts me most when it comes from people close to me.
I can relate to one player in our school's basketball team. Guy seems nice with his quiet demeanor and boyish looks. However, for some reason, coaches always pick on him. He makes a mistake then the coaches take turns berating him. Maybe they want him to toughen up, improve his skills, etc. But what's great about this guy is, he doesn't seem to let those things affect him. What broke my heart was when I saw him return to the bench one time. Normally, coaches would give you a pat on the back for a job well done. Or you can get an earful if you made errors. But this guy, he was the one who approached his coach, with wondering eyes and the thumbs up sign. The poor hijo was asking for an affirmation from his coach if he did a good job. I can no longer recall the coach's response. But that scene will forever be etched in my memory.
Why? Because that's me. When I cook, I always look at my "customer's" reaction during that first bite. I'm no cook so I rarely get good reviews. And in a household like ours where compliments are seldom given, I usually get the good review halfway through or even towards the end of mealtime. Apply that to the different roles I have to play and that's me, the puppy yearning for an affirmation, that thumbs up. But let's face it. The world doesn't work that way. What we often get are humiliation, disapproval, etc. - sometimes even for instances when we're just doing our job right.
I'm not sure if this trait makes people like me easy preys for folks like those coaches who are always ready to pounce on that poor player. Maybe because we're passive and non-confrontational? Maybe because they know we'll be overwhelmed by the emotions before we can create a decent comeback?
I don't really know. All I know is that it sucks everytime the scene replays in your head and you wish you were able to defend yourself even just a little bit.
I can relate to one player in our school's basketball team. Guy seems nice with his quiet demeanor and boyish looks. However, for some reason, coaches always pick on him. He makes a mistake then the coaches take turns berating him. Maybe they want him to toughen up, improve his skills, etc. But what's great about this guy is, he doesn't seem to let those things affect him. What broke my heart was when I saw him return to the bench one time. Normally, coaches would give you a pat on the back for a job well done. Or you can get an earful if you made errors. But this guy, he was the one who approached his coach, with wondering eyes and the thumbs up sign. The poor hijo was asking for an affirmation from his coach if he did a good job. I can no longer recall the coach's response. But that scene will forever be etched in my memory.
Why? Because that's me. When I cook, I always look at my "customer's" reaction during that first bite. I'm no cook so I rarely get good reviews. And in a household like ours where compliments are seldom given, I usually get the good review halfway through or even towards the end of mealtime. Apply that to the different roles I have to play and that's me, the puppy yearning for an affirmation, that thumbs up. But let's face it. The world doesn't work that way. What we often get are humiliation, disapproval, etc. - sometimes even for instances when we're just doing our job right.
I'm not sure if this trait makes people like me easy preys for folks like those coaches who are always ready to pounce on that poor player. Maybe because we're passive and non-confrontational? Maybe because they know we'll be overwhelmed by the emotions before we can create a decent comeback?
I don't really know. All I know is that it sucks everytime the scene replays in your head and you wish you were able to defend yourself even just a little bit.
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