I love writing. And I used to write a lot. But life happens and writing becomes a luxury or sometimes, it turns into a task.
I wrote poems in high school. Mostly, the romantic kind. I blogged in college, hopping from one blog to another. I had diaries. I wrote love letters and kept those that I received. But I guess time wanted me to move on from the past when Typhoon Ondoy destroyed these precious possessions. I can't recall the blogs I kept and it would be very embarrassing if they're still somewhere on the Internet and accessible to the public.
I don't consider myself a good writer. I'm pretty confident with my grammar skills. But substance and content-wise, I think I'm below average. I'm not creative. I almost flunked a TV scriptwriting class because the story I created was too superficial. I've been told that I'm too wordy. Law school made writing more technical for me. My husband always says laymen won't understand the things I write. He'd always say I'm being such a lawyer, having to cover all bases. But I find it so difficult not to write like a lawyer. I feel the need to explain myself, lest I be accused of giving incomplete information.
So, yes, I feel a bit jaded as a "writer." I lack practice. I often wonder if I can still write nice things. I'm pretty much stuck with writing e-mail narratives about our clients' complaints and drafting complaints. That's the only "creative" outlet I have for writing. I always doubt my capability to compose something readable and interesting. I envy people who write really well effortlessly, like my husband and my brother.
It has always been my dream to have my own column in a newspaper where I get the license to talk about anything. Tipong Kris Aquino "me, me, me" column. But I know that's never going to happen. I blog once in a blue moon but I guess this is the only really creative space where I can write without judgments. And if I really want to retain whatever little writing skills I have, I know I should just keep on writing.
I finished reading Maine Mendoza's autobiography (the first physical book I actually finished after a long time!) this morning and I was inspired by her stories. I just need to keep on doing what I want and continue being me, without fear of criticisms. So yeah, I hope I get to write more.
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I've been going to a boxing gym for about 2 months now. No visible changes yet but I love that I'm working towards being physically fit. My son needs me so I must be healthy and strong. I'm a very unhealthy eater and hopefully, exercise can balance that out a bit. Boxing is also a good way for me to destress. It's something I hope I can do for a long time.
===
Lately, I've been a bit nega when dealing with other people. I often feel that things they say are personal attacks on me. I came across a quote that says I need to control my emotions and reactions. Tama naman. I should learn how to be more chill. Like the way my father's chill. I just need to be objective and logical about things. I'll answer questions and filter out other things that seem to be subjective. This is really challenging for someone like me who's always sooo personal. But as my son says, I just need to keep on trying. :)
I wrote poems in high school. Mostly, the romantic kind. I blogged in college, hopping from one blog to another. I had diaries. I wrote love letters and kept those that I received. But I guess time wanted me to move on from the past when Typhoon Ondoy destroyed these precious possessions. I can't recall the blogs I kept and it would be very embarrassing if they're still somewhere on the Internet and accessible to the public.
I don't consider myself a good writer. I'm pretty confident with my grammar skills. But substance and content-wise, I think I'm below average. I'm not creative. I almost flunked a TV scriptwriting class because the story I created was too superficial. I've been told that I'm too wordy. Law school made writing more technical for me. My husband always says laymen won't understand the things I write. He'd always say I'm being such a lawyer, having to cover all bases. But I find it so difficult not to write like a lawyer. I feel the need to explain myself, lest I be accused of giving incomplete information.
So, yes, I feel a bit jaded as a "writer." I lack practice. I often wonder if I can still write nice things. I'm pretty much stuck with writing e-mail narratives about our clients' complaints and drafting complaints. That's the only "creative" outlet I have for writing. I always doubt my capability to compose something readable and interesting. I envy people who write really well effortlessly, like my husband and my brother.
It has always been my dream to have my own column in a newspaper where I get the license to talk about anything. Tipong Kris Aquino "me, me, me" column. But I know that's never going to happen. I blog once in a blue moon but I guess this is the only really creative space where I can write without judgments. And if I really want to retain whatever little writing skills I have, I know I should just keep on writing.
I finished reading Maine Mendoza's autobiography (the first physical book I actually finished after a long time!) this morning and I was inspired by her stories. I just need to keep on doing what I want and continue being me, without fear of criticisms. So yeah, I hope I get to write more.
===
I've been going to a boxing gym for about 2 months now. No visible changes yet but I love that I'm working towards being physically fit. My son needs me so I must be healthy and strong. I'm a very unhealthy eater and hopefully, exercise can balance that out a bit. Boxing is also a good way for me to destress. It's something I hope I can do for a long time.
===
Lately, I've been a bit nega when dealing with other people. I often feel that things they say are personal attacks on me. I came across a quote that says I need to control my emotions and reactions. Tama naman. I should learn how to be more chill. Like the way my father's chill. I just need to be objective and logical about things. I'll answer questions and filter out other things that seem to be subjective. This is really challenging for someone like me who's always sooo personal. But as my son says, I just need to keep on trying. :)
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