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Self Care

My husband (maybe even my father) would label me as a hypochondriac, taking after my mother. I can’t blame them. I can be a worry wart when it comes to health issues. 

Then I got married and motherhood happened. Now I have to worry not just about my health but the health of 2 other people (3 pa if you include ate). 

This year has been tough for our family, health-wise. The husband was hospitalized for the first time since he was a kid and needed blood transfusion. My son’s cough and colds have been on and off for a number of months now. Pedia suspects asthma and allergic rhinitis. These health issues have been really stressful for me. 

Then I started having my own health concerns last week. I had my breast and transv ultrasounds earlier. Many lumps were found in my breasts and one cyst was seen in my left ovary. Results say they’re most probably benign but should be monitored. Of course they shook me. All these morbid thoughts are bothering me. My son’s too young. He needs me. 

I went over my old medical files and found that these lumps and cyst have been there/detected as far back as 10 years ago. But I just totally forgot about them. Perhaps because I was too busy worrying about my family’s health? 

Not saying that it’s wrong to focus on my family. But I must make a mental note to take care of myself too. Because that’s probably the best gift I can give my family. They need me healthy so I can worry about getting all their medicines and making sure they take them and I can nag them about going for those follow up tests and check ups. Sure, it makes things more difficult to manage (having to worry about these things on top of running a household) but I don’t have much of a choice, I guess. 

While I was going thru the tests earlier, I was just grateful for having a supportive husband who comes with me to my check ups and tests. Perhaps he did, but I can’t recall my father doing those for my mother. Which means my mother is the real rockstar. She had to juggle working full time with managing our home and raising 3 kids and a stubborn husband. And she had to care for herself. Even with my husband in tow, I still feel scared and anxious. I can just imagine how tough it must have been for Nanay to do all those things by herself. Ah, mothers. 

So tomorrow I’ll see an OB who hopefully will be a permanent one already. The previous one was okay but a bit pricey. Praying that the one I’m seeing tomorrow will be more practical and minimalist. :)

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